went for the british council pre-departure thing yest. honestly, i didn't think it helped other than that now i know a medical check-up is not required for visa. i also realised that the people going to uk all dress very well! :S now i'm so glad i'm not going to study in london cos i'll be so out of place harhar. and yest i also found out that at lse and imperial, you have to settle all your meals by yourself! disgusting! worse still, it's super expensive in london. hennggg the people at cambridge treats us relatively better. :)

we had so3e gathering at elvine's house yest too. it's going to be the last gathering with a full class available cos we are going to have our first departure from singapore in 2 weeks! :( it's official now: we are going to drift off to our various parts of the world soon, ineveitably seeing one another less and less. aiyah thinking about it already makes me sad. but i hope i have my core group of friends that will always remain contactable and close. yes i really hope so...

just came back after helping lilian move and settle into her new home for the next year at nus. her room's a bit smalllll but it's now has more personaly touches than other rooms. i must say her bed looks the most comfortable. got the full set of bed linens plus bolster, pillow, another bolster, quilt... hahaa the full works! sigh yet another moving into a new stage of her life... i thought they rj people will be the majority even in halls but i'm not that sure now. there were only 4 of them in the same block so far. and all the rest were speaking chineseee.. they all seem like overseas scholarss! well tmr's hall orientation, hope everything goes well.

dilemma.. again!

after i thought all my decision-making for my future was done, another carrot appears right in front of my eye. a huge humongous million dollar carrot no less. :(

well pros are that i don't have to pay a single cent (well duh..) and i get allowances too! 1100 pounds per month may even be more than what half of singaporeans earn! PLUS after 3 years when i start PhD, i'll have a stipend too! and i've heard it amounts to 3000 plus sing dollars, OVER AND ABOVE the monthly allowance. at this rate, i can buy my own house straight after a get my degrees without actually having to lift a finger to work!

ok now for the cons: i don't see myself doing resarch, even though it's tied in with clinical experience (which i doubt will add up to much considering who's offering the scholarship). and even if i convince myself to do research, i think i'll need to start out with some semblence of clinical practice before i can actually come up with useful treatments, and the scholarship doesn't allow you to specialise! major draw-back point. :(

ughhh. looks like i'm throwing away my million dollars :(:(:(

driving is actually quite fun! especially when you don't have to turn your head around at every junction/intersection/turn or risk earning points. :) i was driving around the area this whole morning but i still can't tell directions! i have to have someone sitting beside me in the car, so i won't get lost. hahaha.

before the test, this tester was giving us a pep talk to calm us down. the way he talked was soo funny i was trying so hard to stifle my laughter! haha:

"the traffic conditions will oh-ways chainnn, you all must make sure that it is safe before proceedinggg... relack yourselves and make sure you don't waste your time, money, and effort in this test..." HAHA.

oh and speaking of driving, the day i got my license, i witnessed an accident!! whoaaa. it's like a sign. right after i was made to watch that safety video the day before too!! this little boy was playing around with his dad's lorry and accidentally released the handbrake, so the lorry started moving down the little slope and hit a stationary car, not only once but a series of times kinda like how you bounce a ball off the floor! the sound of metal against metal was horrible!! and the little boy was so terrified he just stared in fear at the driver of the stationary car. aiyoh poor boy! scarred for life.. luckily he wasn't injured, nor was the driver of the other car.

yay i finally got all my friends back from ipho and medicamp! whoopie!! :)

I PASSED! :):)

finally! i think i got over the initial happiness already. it all seemed so long ago, although it only happened this morning. just like how the whole of the past week seemed like ancient history. hmmm, i don't rather fancy this feeling, it seems as though time is passing really fast and reality is just starting to sink in...

ARGHHH..

driving test tmr! :S

i hope i pass...

in 2 months...

i was thinking as i was looking around in my room that in 2 months time, i will no longer be able to see it everyday, nor will i be able to see my family or friends as and when i want to. I suddenly realised that all these little things that i've taken for granted will start to haunt me when i leave. i may put up walls and appear like i'm totally looking forward to my foray into independence and a new environment, but somehow i still feel apprehensive, like i'm not ready for such a huge step in my life. all the little things that have been laid out for me on a silver platter will disappear along with the platter and everything else. i have to start from scratch and do everything myself, even all the normally-unseen duties at home; cooking, cleaning, ironing, organising, being held responsible to every little deed; but most of all, i think i will have to find out how to be my own person. all these while, i haven't actively gone on a self-discovery trail though i know what makes me tick and what doesn't, albeit greatly influenced by the company i'm with. so this experience will at least give me the chance to explore and identify what makes me ME, if you know what i mean.

i have a feeling i'll come back a changed person; if not physically, but definitely definitely mentally. stronger, more decisive and independent. that's what i hope i'll get from this, over and above the degree that is :)

i think i need a sunrise,

i'm tired of the sunset.

which is kinda like how i view going overseas to study; being cast in the same everyday life but in a whole new different setting. it's like how the sunrise and sunset are 2 different yet similar events and that we're tired of one so we're trying to replicate what we're used to in a different environment and a different place.

but am i tired of my sunset? not really, it's just that i want my sunrise to remind me of my sunset, but yet also create beautiful memories at the same time. i'm being greedy but isn't everybody?

jb was disappointing. sat at the mechanics for so long i fell asleep! there was nothing on except for oprah (which was entertaining cos it was wildest dreams episode!). as such, i have perfected the skill of listening to music and zoning out. i can do it for around 3 hours straight now! hahha.

bangkok is officially off now. :( all thanks to the stupid guys. got me all excited for nothing.

am i taking easy-going to a new level? or is it just that i'm a person without the normal range of emotions. honestly, i seldom feel very much for any particular choice or decision. i just take them as they come, come what may.

i'm in the midst of this rollercoaster ride of our bangkok trip planning. one minute it's on , the next it's off. i hope it swings to become a reality real soon cos i'm getting rather tired of all the changes and me having to change my mindset repeatedly to ready myself for whatever's ahead.

keep your fingers crossed!

:)

alrightt! changed the setting of the blog. now u can see m o r e . much better than the super squeezy previous one. :)

this is the end of my weekend tuitions. i'm kinda happy and sad at the same time. it's like how you feel when school ends. :):( bye to the kids. bye to photocopying tons of stuff. bye to searching the tons of assesments books for the correct answer sheets. bye to constant giggling. hello freedom.

my new-found compulsion with the piano and the guitar has made me more intuned with the lyrical aspect of songs. you have to learn the lyrics to sing with the piano or guitar.. duh. sooo i think i'm getting used to listening out for the lyrics instead of just paying attention to the melody previously. hurrayy! some of them are actually quite meaningful. :)

i have just taught my music-illeterate brother to play boston on the piano. he keeps playing the same tune over and over again it was getting a bit irritating. i'm glad now he's fallen asleep.

sighh i think i have stayed too long at prof's. i have seen both shi hui and bird leave me for ipho and medicamp respectively. :( not feeling very happy right about now. so i have negotiated with prof and we have agreed for me only to come down for clinics! so that made me slightly happier.

another thing that has made me happy and gay: project runway! my new favourite of the favourites tv show! somehow it really reminds me of my art days. so since i'm inspired, i have picked up my pencils after so long and drew! bird must feel rather special. right now, i look behind me and i see bird and myself staring down at me. :) hahaha only bird will understand this. but looks like i'm drawing more often these days and in the future too since i've received quite a few requests for portraits already haha!

from one hobby to another, if u can call it a hobby. bird has re-inspired me to practice the piano!

gosh i have been really inspired these days. :)

i was looking through all my previous photos and i came across this.. my art stuff! for 2 whole years i slogged through getting my instillation done for the o levels: many sleepless nights, sacrificed in the name of art haha, being the last students out of school (the security guards had to chase us out!), being constantly frustrated at the lack of time, yet being supremely satisfied at the outcome. ahhhh, those were the times i learnt exactly what hard work is, and finally got to experience first hand how "hard work pays off".

my colour page. deciding to use greyscale to match the mood of the piece: sexism. although i would personally have much rather preferred the orange/red one.


























formulating the layout of the final piece. but in reality, i actually completed the whole piece before starting on the preparatory work! haha.. real cheater bug :) so was working backwards the whole time.





















how the whole thing came together. with lots of thanks to mr asman the D&T teacher who built the whole inclined platform for me! :) haha i still have the miniature model i made for him as a guide.


wellwell. that was another chapter closed in my life. really hope i can get back to it when i have the time in the future.

i shouldn't have opened my big mouth. now germany's out of the world cup as well. stayed up till 6 this morning to watch the big semi final and the goals had to come in the dying minutes of extra time no less!

but i have to give the game some credit (and justify why i stayed up to watch it): it was too exciting. heart-stopping at certain parts, but not because my dad was yelping and shouting at every scoring opportunity that nearly always shook me out of my semi-conscious state at various parts in the match. it was really end-to-end action. the papers billed this games as several big battles:

the battle of the world's 2 best goalkeepers
the battle between the best attack(germany? although i'm still wondering why and how) and the tightest defense (italy, ok this i concur)
the battle between the playmakers: ballack vs totti (but somehow i still would rather fancy ballack vs riquelme or ballack vs zidane or ballack vs ronaldhino or ballack vs deco)

but in the end i think it was just the battle with luck. italy was just destined to win after hitting the post twice in a minute in extra time. so let's leave it as that. :)
....

ooh i found return flights to london at $998! wonderful!

i was laughing at this the whole day today, courtesy of mandy yap! hahaha.

speaking of pretty things, the bunch of retirees from france have just cleared out my many eye-candies from the world cup. thanks to them i have no torres, no kaka, no mr maggimee to look at anymore. thanks zidane. thanks. and germany just defeated argentina, thanks to the second goalkeeper and my messy messi did not even come out to play. urgh. my interest in the world cup is waning.

ok now for my non-football post. (well technically at least)

i think i am just not adapt as recognising roads. neither is bird nor shihui on friday. according to prof, finding his house is full-proof. just turn into linden drive! very easy one! turns out that this very simple task managed to confuse the three of us a great deal, so much as that we were made to make countless u-turns and emergency stops. not to mention all the horrific lane-changing in heavy traffic that followed the u-turns. i must not drive along bukit timah road when/if i pass my test, not for the first month at least. ayee and today's my first revision lesson!!! what good timing.

germany vs argentina at prof's house on friday night. dr rasheed managed to fortell when argentina's goal would come. he proclaimed it just before riquelme took the penalty, then GOALLL! freaky coincidence.. i should have asked him for the result of the next match and go bet some money on them. haha. everyone's betting nowadays. winning money too. but i'm too hamchi. and that stupid shawn can just put down 50 bucks on this match too.. and WIN $100!

mandy's belated birthday dinner surprise last night was entertaining. we had fun during the planning. scooting from newton to thomson to buy flowers, back to newton to get camera card then down to city hall to meet the rest. it was a night of random stuff, and i have some random comments:
- i must say caroline's really strong to successfully hold mandy's eyes close what with all her struggling and all.
- we all also finally saw the elusive julyn, even if it's just a glimpse.
- caught on to where the MIA part of our class will be going to study thanks to our special link nat. hahha.
- learnt about the ranking system in the army, though i don't think i can remember any other than a leutanent is the lowest of the officer ranks.
-made plans to go visit caroline and abuse her staff discount at nike :)
-the weirdest thing was on the mrt train when some strange american guy started talking about how we should save a broken flower, cows and horses and farms. ???

ahha but the magic of the weekend has ended and now it's back to reality. sitting in the dreary office awaiting my next command.

one night, two heatbreaks

one night,
two heartbreaks,
and both my teams are out of the world cup.

the twist of fate that was the penalties. i just hate penalties.. that one second makes or breaks the fate of the team. as the today paper put it:

england just had to go out on penalties. no other way would be acceptable. yet as punishments go, this one was hideously choreographed.

hargreaves could not miss as if to prove to the end he has been a revelation
lampard had to miss becaused he missed everything all tournament
gerrard had to miss because it was as of he was too close to goal (thirty yards out he is deadly)
carragher had to miss so that we could argue if he was too fresh
and ronaldo just had to score the last penalty to rub it in.

well there's a silver lining to every disaster; we have seen the last of sven goran eriksson. mr magoo who more often than not looks like he's comtemplating how to lose the next game without looking as bad as the last.

brazil next. enough said. it's just too surreal that they are out. played like imposters of the magicians that they usually are. especially the fifa world player of the year. twice over.

now the only suitable world-cup winning team left is germany. ack bird must be gloating right about now.